Challenges Faced by LGBTQIA+ Families—and Resources to Navigate Them.

Oct 11

Every family deals with challenges, but those families with a parent and/or child who identifies as LGBTQIA+ face particularly unique ones. Here are some of the most common challenges faced by LGBTQ families, and resources to cope with them.

Parental Rights
When a married couple has a child, they automatically both become legal guardians of that child, right? This assumption is true for heterosexual couples in all 50 states, but same-sex couples do not have the same legal rights. Laws are outdated in many states, and married same-sex partners may not both be listed on the child’s birth certificate in cases of sperm donors or artificial insemination. Connecticut has recently passed the Parentage Act, which gives same-sex parents the same automatic parentage rights as heterosexual parents, regardless if one of the parents is not biologically related—but many states need to catch up.
Paid Parental Leave
The United States is one of the few countries in the modern world that does not offer paid parental leave. When certain companies do offer guaranteed paid family leave, it is not always offered to LGBTQIA+ individuals and their partners. In addition, the Family Medical Leave Act, which requires companies to provide unpaid family leave, does not apply to parents who aren’t recognized as legal guardians. And as we just discussed, there are plenty of states that do not recognize same-sex couples as legal guardians, and so this is another instance where same-sex couples are left out.
Bullying
Bullying is a real challenge for those kids who identify as LGBTQIA+ themselves, and/or who have one or both parents that do. Only 21 states have included LGBTQIA+ students in anti-bullying laws, but the rest have not.

This is not an exhaustive list of unique challenges LGBTQ families face, of course. Sometimes, in order to survive and thrive amidst profound challenges, you need someone in your corner who can help you navigate troubled waters. Here is a fantastic list of resources for LGBTQIA+ families:

Family Equality
“Family Equality was founded as the ‘Gay Fathers Coalition’ in 1979 at the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights by gay fathers who bravely left their heterosexual marriages to pursue their truth—and who were, as a result, denied access (not to mention parenting privileges) to their children. Today we are driven by that same truth-pursuing spirit, fighting to ensure that every LGBTQ+ person has the freedom to find, form, and sustain a family.”
What they offer: LGBTQ+ books for kids and parents, the coordination of LGBTQ+ families across the country to assist in finding community, and research initiatives to uncover and discuss the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ families.

PFLAG
“Founded in 1973 by a mother and her gay son, PFLAG was born from the unified front of a family leading with love. An inspiring alliance of LGBTQ+ people and their loved ones continues to fuel PFLAG, fifty years later.”
What they offer: helpful resources for LGBTQ+ individuals, their allies, and even those who don’t understand but wish to learn more; PFLAG chapters throughout the country in order to find community; and virtual meetings in multiple languages for the community and their allies.
GLSEN
“GLSEN believes that every student has the right to a safe, supportive, and LGBTQ-inclusive K-12 education. We are a national network of educators, students, and local GLSEN Chapters working to make this right a reality.”
What they offer: resources for supportive educators, webinars and workshops on a number of topics, and nationwide research on the experience of LGBTQ+ students in schools.
COLAGE
“We envision the COLAGE community as part of larger movements to create positive change, heal from and ultimately counter discrimination in school systems, social services, mental and physical health systems, the media, legislatures, legal systems, and religious institutions in order to build communities in which all families are valued, protected, reflected, and embraced, and every human being has the freedom to express sexual orientation, gender identity, and self.”
What they offer: a robust Events Calendar of workshops and webinars; special online communities such as adopted children of LGBTQ+ parents, or for people whose parents have come out; and a host of resources for LGBTQ+ families.
The Trevor Project
“One accepting adult decreases the risk of suicide by 40% for LGBTQ young people. We provide LGBTQ youth with 24/7 crisis counseling via phone, text, and chat.”
What they offer: crisis support for young LGBTQ+ people, research to learn more about suicide prevention, and an online community called TrevorSpace.
Lambda Legal
“For five decades and counting, Lambda Legal has proudly served as attorneys for the LGBTQ+ community and people living with HIV. We never charge our clients for legal representation or advocacy.”
What they offer: Lambda Legal’s Help desk provides general legal information and resources relating to discrimination based on sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression, and HIV status.
National LGBTQ+ Task Force
“The National LGBTQ Task Force builds power, takes action, and creates change to achieve freedom, justice, and equity for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people.”
What they offer: An events calendar of advocacy events and webinars, grassroots support and education through voting suppression, and education around reproductive justice.
GLAAD
“Founded in 1985, GLAAD is a non-profit organization working to ensure fair, accurate, and inclusive representation and creating national and local programs that advance LGBTQ acceptance. Serving as a storyteller, media force, resource, and advocate, GLAAD tackles tough issues and provokes dialogue so that authentic LGBTQ stories are seen, heard, and actualized.”
What they offer: campaigns and education around advertising visibility, social media safety, and the state of HIV stigma.
Human Rights Campaign
“We’ve spent 40 years creating the most powerful movement for equality our country has ever seen. But despite this progress, our most marginalized are still suffering from violence, discrimination and fear. Our goal is to ensure that all LGBTQ+ people, and particularly those of us who are trans, people of color and HIV+, are treated as full and equal citizens within our movement, across our country and around the world.”
What they offer: extensive education for LGBTQ+ individuals, families, and their allies; ways to get involved on small or large scales to fight for equality; and a campaign sharing the missing freedoms for LGBTQ+ families and individuals.
National Center for Transgender Equality
“The National Center for Transgender Equality advocates to change policies and society to increase understanding and acceptance of transgender people. In the nation’s capital and throughout the country, NCTE works to replace disrespect, discrimination, and violence with empathy, opportunity, and justice.”
What they offer: “know your rights,” a collection of legal protection information and how to file complaints of discrimination; resources for families; and guides through insurance, name change information, and legal resources.

If you’re still looking for extra support, therapy may be a source of relief and strength. Reach out to consult for individual or couples’ therapy on our consultation page!