Sitting With It vs. Intellectualizing It: Are You Feeling Your Feelings?

Imagine you're watching a movie that's making you feel a lot of emotions: sadness, joy, fear, etc. Instead of turning off the TV or changing the channel when it gets intense, you decide to stay and watch the whole thing.

You let yourself feel all those emotions without judging or avoiding them. Over time, as the movie progresses, you start to understand the story better and the feelings start to make sense. You might even learn something new about yourself or the world around you by the end.

In real life, "sitting with it" means allowing yourself to feel and experience your emotions without avoiding them. It's about understanding and accepting what you're feeling, no matter how uncomfortable, and giving yourself time to process those feelings.

Now, imagine you're watching the same movie, but every time a scene makes you feel uncomfortable or emotional, you start analyzing the lighting, the camera angles, or the actors' techniques.

You're avoiding the emotional impact by focusing on technical details. Or you might even decide to change the channel or turn off the TV entirely to avoid feeling anything at all.

In real life, "intellectualizing" is when you analyze or think about a situation without really connecting to the emotions behind it. It's like talking about a sad event in a very detached way, focusing only on the facts, and not letting yourself feel the sadness. You could also be completely running away from it, avoiding the situation entirely, so you don't have to deal with the uncomfortable emotions.

In short, while intellectualizing can offer a temporary escape from pain, it often prevents true healing and understanding. Emotions have a purpose; they signal something about our experiences. By sitting with and processing emotions, we can better navigate our reactions and make more informed choices in the future. On the other hand, constantly running away from emotions can lead to unresolved feelings, which can affect our well-being and relationships.

Just because we can explain to ourselves why we are feeling a certain way doesn’t mean the processing is complete. Feeling our feelings can be uncomfortable. Maybe you are trying to numb yourself to keep from fully embracing unpleasant emotions. But once we allow ourselves to experience the emotions physically in our body, the healing can begin.

If you’re having trouble connecting with the emotions behind your feelings, therapy may help. Reach out for a free consultation to see if MINDplexcity is for you!